Douching sucks. It’s uncertain, uncomfortable, and all kinds of inconvenient. While it’s not a necessity when bottoming, douching certainly eases the mind knowing you’ve cleared the runway for a safe landing.
It’s not surprising then that most people prefer to douche before getting their cheeks clapped. A 2014 international survey involving 1,725 participants found that 66% elect to douche before they bottom. And 83% will always or almost always douche. Over 90% use water when rinsing and 31% use saline-based solutions.[1]
A word to the wise: Don’t be doing that last part. Saline-based enemas (common at drugstores) are terrible for the tush. The solution, created to relieve constipation, can dehydrate the rectal tissue, heighten the risk of STIs and cause mucosal irritation, as well as microtears. While douching in general can cause these same symptoms, saline is even worse; like doing a double shot when just one was enough.
So if everyone’s doing it (and doing it wrong) what’s the right way to douche without wrecking your rectum? Let’s break down what douching actually does to your body, why some methods are better than others, and how to keep your prep clean without compromising your health.
The messy truth about douching.
While it’s common and even expected (a San Francisco-based survey found 78% of people preferred it when their partners douched), douching isn’t great for your rectal microbiome and should be done gently and cautiously.
Just like your gut and skin, your rectum has a natural community of bacteria (a microbiome) that helps keep things balanced. This microbiome acts like a tiny immune system: it protects your tissues, maintains pH, and helps fight off infections.
When you douche, especially with harsh solutions or too frequently, you’re not just flushing out waste—you’re stripping away that protective bacteria, too. This disruption can lead to irritation, inflammation, and a higher risk of STIs, particularly if micro-tears form in the process. The right way to douche essentially eliminates and/or minimizes those risks.
Smart douching 101.
As a general rule, less is more when douching. Dr. Evan Goldstein, anal surgeon, CEO of Bespoke Surgical and co-founder of Future Method, says you should only have to rinse once or twice when prepping for anal sex.
“If it’s taking more than that, you may be going too deep,” Goldstein says. “For everyday sex (not fisting or large toys), you’re only engaging the lower rectum, where there shouldn’t be stool unless you urgently feel the need to go to the bathroom. A rinse with a smaller-than-average bulb should be enough to clear any residual matter.”
A great way to test if you need to douche is the “dipstick method.” You do this by gently inserting a well-lubricated and modest-sized toy in your rectum, pulling out, and inspecting it for stool. This method not only helps determine if you’re “ready”, it also helps dilate and pre-lubricate your anal canal before sex.
Your douching routine should not be doing the heavy lifting when it comes to prepping. A fiber-rich diet (including fiber supplements), proper hydration, and a gut-friendly menu should.. “If it’s taking a while to get cleaned out, it might just not be your day to bottom,” Goldstein says. “And that’s totally okay. Hopefully you’ve found a partner who understands that shit happens.”
Don’t douche too often, only as much as is needed for your sex life, and make sure you’re using the right tools. “If you’re using a body-safe, microbiome-friendly solution, you can douche as often as you’re planning on having sex,” Goldstein says.
By “body-safe” and “microbiome-friendly,” Golstein is referring to isotonic, iso-osmolar solutions. Basically, these solutions have the same salt concentration as your body’s cells and blood, helping water move in and out of cells evenly, so they neither shrink or swell. These solutions are pH-balanced and work with your body by helping maintain a healthy bacterial balance while minimizing irritation. The only issue with isotonic solutions is they can be expensive and inconvenient, since they’re not available at most local drugstores.
So, when in doubt: Hop in the shower, fill a small bulb with warm water, lubricate and insert the tip, gently squeeze the bulb into your rectum, and release into a toilet until the water is clear. That’s your best bet.
Signs you’ve over-douched.
The biggest mistake people make is they over-do it, douching with too much water and too much force.
“One of the biggest giveaways of over-douching is what some people refer to as ‘anal creaming,’” Goldstein says. “While some find it hot—thinking it’s a sign the sex is really good—it’s actually your body waving a red flag. That creamy mucus is your rectum’s way of saying, ‘I’m dry and irritated.’” [2]
As previously mentioned, over-douching strips away protective cells and your body responds by producing excess mucus to protect and rehydrate the area.
Other signs of over-douching include bloating, cramping, and a feeling of distension (enlargement or swelling of the rectum). Feeling dry during sex can also be a sign you’ve overdone it.
Perhaps the most obvious—and inconvenient—sign? You can’t stop pooping. That usually means you’ve washed too deep and pulled stool stored in the sigmoid colon (located beyond the rectum), which you were never meant to disturb for basic sex prep. Essentially, you’ve made a bigger mess than you would have if you’d done nothing at all.
According to Goldstein, a lot of people use bulbs that are far too large when douching. “People assume bigger equals better (and in this case – cleaner), but all it really means is more water, more pressure, and a higher risk of irritation or injury,” he says. “Another misconception people have is that douching should make you poop. A proper douche is just meant to rinse the lower rectum of any residual stool—not trigger a full-blown bowel movement.”
Given his advice, it’s not surprising that Goldstein is vehemently against the use of the uber convenient shower shot. “You usually can’t control the pressure or flow, and that’s a major problem,” he explains. “It’s like bringing a fire hose to do a job that only needs a gentle rinse. With shower douches, there are just too many things that can go wrong—and not enough benefits to justify the risks.”
This may seem like a lot, but remember: you don’t need to douche. A little poop is not the end of the world. Unfortunately, the bottoming community can carry a lot of shame due to a top’s reaction. But like they say: if you go digging for gold, you’ll eventually find it. This is simply our biology, not bad hygiene.
We need to break the stigma around butt stuff and be more realistic, more compassionate, and a shitload less judgmental.
